Want a rant, heres a rant.

14th February 2015.

Happy Birthday Retep and Sabrina Hahn.

Had a biggy last night and up early for Roots and Shoots, cancel hire car, then bacon and eggs and good old baked beans on toast, on Persian Sands with birthday boy, then listen to Tales From The Tinny, then listen to Australia smash the poms, all without a beer. It’s almost like we are back at home.

A pretty uneventful week, bit of shopping, organized our new solar panels and some really good engine soundproofing for the genset. We now have our dates for hauling out, 19th March to 3rd April at G&T, over at Ao Poh, which is on the eastern side of Phuket. We met Toi, who has been recommended to us by so many people that you’d have to be a dickhead to go anywhere else. She is onto it and I reckon that the tasks I’ve set for her and her team are doable with the time we have between tides. We can only enter their yard with a 1.9 metre tide and of course the same for leaving, so we will get a couple of weeks to get the boat wet and dried and polished top to bottom, anti foul raised 100mm, service the sail drives and props and the doors to the saloon refurbished. It would have been great to get the saloon floor done too, but not enough time.

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Caught up with the Sandys at Yacht Haven, I copped a couple of flicks on the fored from Fay, as you would expect, they are slowly getting there, with most jobs done before they head home for a bit, Fay’s son is going to be spewing when he gets his boardies, they are pink not watermelon, Poor bastard. Dave rang me today and was telling me about Fayzy’s disappearing act while she was washing the boat, so pissed off I missed it, she has fallen down between the jetty and the hull and found herself stuck surrounded by oysters and couldn’t get out, took three of them to haul her sorry arse back up onto the jetty, Dave reckons he didn’t laugh, I would have pissed myself. Go Shirl.

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Poor old Boomerang is looking a bit dull having not had a wash for a month or so, it hasn’t rained for ages, so arced up the Spectra water maker and filled the tanks, then gave her a big lather up, the salt was pretty thick up the front, tastes great, and the dirt that came off was amazing, she is all back to squeaky clean, next need to do the waterline again as the beard is coming back. Nai Yang Bay really gets the growth happening, not sure why. Could be all us yachties swimming, shitting, pissing in the water but I just dunno. Hence the raising of the anti foul line, we are a bit overloaded but I just can’t come to grips with getting rid of some of the stuff we have on board. Need to have a garage sale, that would be better than just giving it away or even worse, chucking it. I reckon it might be harder to extract money out of a some of these yachty types than out of the locals anyway, so not much point trying. Just raise the waterline.

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Have now got onto live streaming, so ABC 720 Perth is on all day long, they have the best shows and it doesn’t surprise me that even Victorians tune in to it. Last week Sabrina Hahn was on Who Are You, a segment on Geoff Hutchison’s show, it was a pearler, check it out. Then you wait a bit and Gillo comes on with some good and different topics and of course the laugh. Dave Warner was on the other day, he has got a show on in the Festival of Perth called The King And Me, they also did a show at the Charles Hotel, spewing we missed that. We went on You Tube and watched some of his stuff, unreal banana peel, an excellent arvo, the reworked Mugs Game is a classic. Who would have guessed Shapell was a thieving bitch and look where it got her, superb lyrics Dave Warner.

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Saturdays we tune in to Wolfy and Sabrina for Roots and Shoots, then flick over to ABC Darwin 105.7 for a mp3 recording and get a mullet up us on Tales From The Tinny, one of the best shows around, funny as. These guys have got it sussed, taking the piss out of others and more often themselves. This bara season looks like being a ripper. When I used to work, I had ABC 720 on all day and if this is the closest thing to once again being gainfully employed so be it, suits me to a tee. One of the most enjoyable things to hear on the radio is the cricket and that was one opening game by the Aussies, flogging the poms, yeew yeew, nothing better, the next thing that needs to be done is someone needs to belt Jeffery bloody Boycott, what a wanker, he was using the big stage to bag the physical training coach of his beloved team which in itself was pretty poor and then it was all because the guy reckons he rants a bit, he is so far up himself he doesn’t even realise he rants on about crap all the time, he better be commentating the pom’s and not us, that would be the end of the wireless for me. I reckon he is probably in love with Stuart Broad as well, can’t stop praising the cheating prick and paying out on the crowd for booing him, it was only The Ashes we lost, dickhead. I had just about forgotten about Broad but now, thanks to Jeffery, all Australians should stand up and boo at the top of our lungs every time Broad goes near the ball. Also love how that weird arse Kiwi umpire has been dumped and delegated to the 3rd ump, although he will probably stuff it up anyway.

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We have found the Nai Yang version of Bangalore Road. Down the end of the street are a few bars with lots of waitress’s trying to get you to partake in a cleansing ale or twenty, Alex the German pointed out the girls and the lady boys, lucky for me because if I was that way inclined, I had a 50/50 chance of sleeping with a bloke, couldn’t believe it, stuff that.

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There are some good restaurants and bars down the strip and all the food tastes the same, thats because it all comes from our mate at the Bank Restaurant, she’s a beaut. We also have Madam Karen, ph 0980343699, who is a wheeler dealer around this neck of the woods. She can hire cars, bikes, supply laundry services and get you fed.

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Were down there the other day watching a fire twirling show and at the end they let some crackers off that were up a tree, a bloody great chunk of tree hit me in the back so Jen and I moved a bit further away and as I turned to watch the show another chunk smashed my glass which was in my hand on it’s way to me gob, everyone made a fuss but no freebie, wonder what third party cover they would have had. Like the rest of the place, bugger all.

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Had Retep’s birthday with premature drinks and celebrations for him at the OK Bar, Jen got the band to sing happy birthday, a very merry night as you can probably see, which definitely put a dampener on his actual birthday day celebrations which started 0900 with B&E&BB’S on toast, and ended with beers at old mates at the markets and a feed at Heng Heng, which was so spicy the beers were used just to quell the burn. Wit, ph 0805332575, rolled up with his son, Number Five, and drove us home in the revamped Tuk Tuk. Its now got newly covered seats and is looking very flash. The Persians gave them a soccer ball and some clothes, which they loved.

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An early night means an early morning, had a SUP for and hour or so, heaps harder to catch small waves than bigger ones so it takes it out of you, low tide too and not real keen on standing in a foot of water on the coral, so headed back, polished the staino up front, scrubbed the beard off the waterline and sat back to listen to the cricket, SA and Zimbabwe with a beer or two. I want to see the catch the bloke in the orange shirt, with his hat on and a beer in his left hand, plucked from the sky with his right, as reported by an excellent commentator, Ebony, who just happens to be a chick, wonder what Jeffery thinks about that?